14 Ways to Deny a NCMO Request


Ah, the NCMO.

I first came across the term “NCMO” during my sophomore year of high school, a few months after moving to Utah. I was invited to play night games with some people from school, and, desperately wanting to make friends, I was excited to go. We played all the usual games and ended the night with regular ol’ hide n’ seek. One of the boys in the group had been teasing me all evening, and he hid in the same spot as me for one of the rounds (indeed wasn’t an accident). It must have been a good spot because we hid there for forty-five minutes. We spent that time talking, and, to my surprise, he leaned in. We kissed for a few minutes until we heard our friends distantly calling our names, upon which we emerged from our hiding place.

Surprise! This boy and I ended up dating. One night, we were talking about our above-mentioned first kiss, and he said, “I mean, I had no idea that this was going to come out of it; I thought it was just an NCMO.” To which I said, “What? What’s a Nick… Moe?”

That day, my eyes were opened to a new cultural phenomenon. I knew it was a thing, but I had never heard an acronym assigned to it before. At first, I thought he was joking- it just seemed way too cringey for people to walk around and use “Nick-Moe” in real conversations. But here we are; I have adapted.

Sometimes, NCMO’s are welcome; we can’t ignore that people do it willingly. But, sometimes, you’re invited to participate in an NCMO that you are averse to accepting. How do you say no?

Keep reading to learn some practical ways to deny an NCMO request.

What Does NCMO Mean?

If you don’t know the answer to this, you’re probably very confused. Let’s clear this up. NCMO, pronounced “Nick-Moe,” stands for Non-Committal Make-Out, which is precisely what it sounds like. Someone who wants to NCMO with you wants to make out with you without the obligation of actually dating you afterward.

As you can probably imagine, people are usually very much for NCMO’s or very against NCMO’s. People who support NCMO’s want to go crazy and kiss many people without consequences. People who discourage NCMO’s might feel morally opposed to it, and be actively looking for a relationship. Either way, you’re here because you don’t want to make out with this person who has offered.

Straight Up, Just Leave

No words are necessary. But this only works in certain circumstances. This probably isn’t a smart move if you’re in the middle of a canyon with no cell service. But, if you have a way to leave safely, it’s a great option – you don’t owe them anything. You can do the same if they ask over text by leaving them on Read.

Say You’d Rather Get to Know Them Better First

Maybe you’re interested, but they’re taking things too fast. You’re not opposed to kissing them, but you want to do it right. That’s certainly respectable, and they might one day come to appreciate your restraint.

Just Say No

One day in high school, this guy in my math class texted me, “hey,” out of the blue. We talked for the afternoon, but nothing major until I had to go to work. On my break, I got my phone back, and he asked if I wanted Chick-Fil-A. I responded, “of course,” not really thinking anything of it, and put my phone away. Well, four hours later, I got off work, and lo and behold, this dude was standing outside my place of work holding a Chick Fil A bag. Confused but grateful for food and trying to be friendly, I talked to him for a few minutes in his car while I ate. When the conversation died down, he just looked me right in the face and said, “wanna make out?”

Suffice it to say, I did not make out with him. I said, “no thanks,” took my Chick-Fil-A, and left.

Say You’re Not Into That

Even if it’s a lie, telling them you don’t do NCMOs is an acceptable approach. There are plenty of people who are against NCMOs, no matter who it’s with.

Say You’re Saving Your First Kiss

This gives you a great excuse; plus, they probably don’t want the responsibility of being your first kiss anyway. And nobody wants to NCMO with someone who has no idea what they’re doing. It’ll likely turn them off too, and then they won’t continue trying to convince you to kiss them.

Tell Them They Need to Earn it

This is one of my favorite strategies because it turns the situation into a game. But it only works if you are attracted to them at least a little bit. “Well, what? I got you dinner; I texted you all day; I told all my friends how pretty you are…” “But I would be kissing you right now if you had earned it.” This method, I think, is argue-proof.

Friendzone Them

“I only see you as a friend.” If it’s the truth, tell them. They may or may not want to stay friends after this, but honesty is the best policy.

Say You Like Them Too Much

If you like them, you don’t want to risk things getting weird. Maybe you see this relationship going somewhere, so you want something to progress in a typical way. There’s nothing wrong with that- great thinking ahead!

Pretend You Don’t Know What NCMO Means

Nothing will ruin the mood more than making them explain it to you. If they try to spell it out for you, keep being confused until they give up.

Pretend You Don’t Speak English

Clearly, this only works if you’ve never actually spoken to this person before. But this will be a hilarious memory to remember and share with your friends. As long as this person doesn’t speak the same language as the one you use for your cover…

Say You Can’t Reach Their Face

You can’t argue with science whether they are too short or too tall.

Pretend You’re Gay

This is just one of those things that do and always will work. And they can’t take it personally- you don’t swing that way. But make sure that they don’t have any attractive friends, or else this could bite you in the butt. You don’t want them to tell your crush that you’re gay.

Pretend Your Mom is Calling

“Wanna NCMO?” “Huh? Sorry, one sec, my mom is calling… Mom? I’m on a date… Do you need me to come home right now? Rats.”

Your Lips, Your Decision

Don’t let anyone pressure you into kissing them! The reality is you don’t need a reason or an explanation for not wanting to kiss them- if you don’t, you don’t. And, I mean, don’t feel too bad for rejecting them; indeed, they’ll find their next target in under a week. You, on the other hand, will save your lips for someone who earns it.

Already kissing him and wondering whether he’s actually into you or just bored? Check out our number one guide on how to tell if a guy is into you or just bored.

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