50 Shocking Petty Ex Stories

We all know we should be the ones to be the bigger person after a breakup. But it feels so satisfying to get revenge. Below are Fifty must-read petty ex stories that will make you laugh and cry about your previous dating experiences.

1. “Changed her Netflix password.”

2. “A friend of mine had the spare key to her ex’s truck, so we would randomly ride by his house and hit the panic button to set the alarm off. We would laugh our asses off every single time.”

3. “I went to his apartment and took (fine, stole) one of every shoe. I threw them out on the freeway as I backtracked the 12-hour drive I’d just made.”

4. “Used to send me pics of her and her new man together.”

5. “Anonymously sent him a glitter bomb.”

6. “She wanted me out of (my own) house so she could move out. When I got home, it was a huge mess; she’d ransacked it. For months I noticed little things like anything we had two of; she took the better one and left me the crappy one; she even took all the Tupperware’s with matching lids and left me with the mismatched stuff. It was a small price to pay, though.”

7. “I took every bottle out of the wine fridge and placed each in a pot of boiling water for a few minutes until they were nice and toasty. Then back in the fridge, they went. Enjoy that Cabernet Sauvignon Vinegar ‘05.”

8. “I used to go on to Snapchat and type, but not say anything, so ‘(my name) is typing…’ would come up on his phone.”

9. “Two things – I had this perfume he loved. He was in the Army, and I’d sprayed it on the letters I’d sent him while he was in Iraq. He’d also recently bought an expensive pillow top mattress. I dropped like $4k on it. I might have emptied that entire perfume bottle all over his mattress, bedding, and pillows the day before I moved out.”

10. “I went on Craigslist and put an ad up for cheap tickets to 98 Degrees, who were coming to town. I put my ex’s phone number on it and asked for people to call from 10 pm on”

11. “I knew the Reddit username for the last guy I dated. I senselessly downvoted his posts for a week or so after he broke up with me before it stopped making me feel better.”

12. “I cut the sleeve off of a dress shirt the other woman had bought him and put it back in the closet, so only the good arm was showing.”

13. “I went to Pandora, and his account was still logged in on my laptop, so I deleted all his stations and then logged out.”

14. “Bought me chocolates and a teddy bear for Valentine’s Day and posted it on my Snapchat saying ‘Thanks babe :)’. The ex messaged me and asked about it.”

15. “He was really into Marvel. I went to see the new Avengers movie and found him downtown. I spoiled the entire thing.”

16. “Signed him up for the U2 mailing list.”

17. “When I moved out of our apartment, I left an open can of smoked oysters buried behind the crisper drawer in the fridge. He told me it took him over a month to determine where the smell came from.”

18. “I threw the stuff he left at my house (for four months) all over his lawn in the rain.”

19. “After she found out he had been cheating on her, a friend of mine sat down and deeply scratched every one of her bf’s CDs & DVDs, then replaced them as if nothing had happened. Then she broke up with him and moved out, never knowing his reaction when he discovered what she had done. He had a huge collection.”

20. “He wouldn’t listen to any music that was remotely uncool because he didn’t want it to show up on his last.fm, and he always got mad at me for listening to ‘lame’ music on his computer. One weekend when he was out of town, I took his laptop and made a playlist that was just “Rodeo” by Garth Brooks and “Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon” by Neil Diamond repeated back to back. I repeated the playlist for three solid days and made sure his last.fm was connected. Predictably, he reacted like an absolute baby when he found out.”

21. “Not my ex, but a guy broke up with an old friend of mine in a nasty way, so we put his address into those things that send samples of adult diapers.”

22. “I have an ex (multiple years ago) who disliked nail polish. He found painted fingers or toenails very unattractive. He broke up with me in the summer, and I painted all my nails the brightest pink I could find the next week. It was very…empowering hahaha. I know he saw it because we went to school together.”

23. “Packed a bag with every remote in the house and left.”

24. “Started a fire outside my house with all our memorabilia (gifts, letters, and photos from the relationship).”

25. “When we broke up, he filled his house with everything I wanted that he always said was ‘too expensive’: cookware, decorations, etc. One of the most obvious was a nativity scene. So I stole the baby, Jesus.”

26. “He took the backs of all my earrings… I had about two dozen pairs.”

27. “Took the cap off the toothpaste.”

28. “I had her ukulele, and she had my shirt. She texted asking me to ship the ukulele out to her, so I asked her to do the same with my shirt. ‘Aw, sorry, I don’t have the shirt anymore.’ Sold the ukulele for the price of the shirt, rebought the same shirt, and sent her a picture of me wearing it.”

29. “He had borrowed my grandfather’s guitar. When he returned it after we’d broken up, he had sanded down all the finish on it, strung it with the wrong kind of strings, which put a terrible strain on the neck, filled it with sugar and scraps of paper, and put some daffodils in it. Truly bizarre. It took a lot of work to sort it out.”

30. “In sixth grade, this kid asked me to be his girlfriend by leaving a voicemail on my mom’s phone. My parents wouldn’t let me date as a 12-year-old, so my mom made me call him back and tell him no. Six years later, as a high school senior, this guy asked me to hang out. We had a great time, kissed, and started talking about our middle school experience. He tells me I broke his little heart because I never responded. This was when I realized he never got the voicemail I sent back explaining that I’m not allowed to date – so for six years, he thought I ghosted him. He has to go and tells me he will text me in the morning. Instead, he blocked me. He waited six years for his revenge.”

31. “I’m going through a junk drawer of mine, and I found I still had his spare car key. I am not an angry person day to day, and I honestly don’t even wish anything bad towards him. I did, however, move his car two blocks every morning for a week. And on the last day, after what I’m sure was a week of being late to work and feeling on the verge of insanity, I left his car where he had parked it. I also turned the volume to max and moved everything movable slightly.”

32. “For eight years, I have been giving creepy dudes my ex’s phone number instead of mine. His sister always texts me his new phone number when he changes it. She also sends photos and videos of him losing his mind and being angry when he gets a call from a dude looking for a hookup.”

33. “She took my shirts off the nice hangers her mom got us and put them all back on the plastic ones.”

34. “I loosened the seams in all his pants and shorts so that as soon as he sat, they’d rip open on him. It’s been ten years, and that still makes me laugh.”

35. “He repeatedly cheated on me with multiple women, so I had my pregnant roommate do a pregnancy test and then just dropped it at his front door. No note, no way to know who it came from.”

36. “I put prawns in his curtain pole.”

37. “I still use my ex’s phone number for his Walgreens card. He’s so stingy I know he’ll never redeem any of his points, so I randomly get $5/$10 off at Walgreens.”

38. “I logged into his Pokemon Go account and deleted his whole box.”

39. “I posted a shirtless picture of him and his phone number on Craigslist’s men-seeking-men page. The headline? ‘Young guy looking for fun.'”

40. “I returned the fancy, expensive, never-worn dress shirt he left at my place and exchanged it for a fancy dress for myself.”

41. “I spent our year together wearing flats because he was self-conscious that he was slightly shorter than me. When we broke up, I bought the tallest, sexiest heels I could find and wore them to a mutual friend’s party. When I arrived towering over him, the look on his face was priceless.”

42. “I still had access to his family’s Netflix so that I would change the names to ‘cheater ‘, ‘ liar’, ‘ I am garbage and treat women badly'”

43. “I waited until fifteen minutes before the new season of game of thrones started to change the password on my HBO account that I knew he was still using.”

44. “Took his free sandwich from Safeway.”

45. “I catfished her new boyfriend and sent her the messages as a concerned female so that she would break up with him.”

46. “I ordered delivery of 2 large cheese pizzas from every pizza place in town to my ex’s house, then watched from a car down the street as my ex answered the door to 5 different pizzas guys, one after another. My ex’s frustration level hilariously increased with each new delivery guy. The best part is, the address was blacklisted from all of the pizza places from then on, so… no more delivery for you.”

47. “When my ex and I broke up, his card was still on my amazon account, so I bought all the book series I wanted on my kindle.”

48. “Made sure to personally befriend any girl he mentioned having feelings for and then intentionally telling them how awful he was to be in a relationship with so that he would look undesirable to other women.”

49. “Filled his hoodie with the notes we used to pass each other during class – ripped-up like confetti. A friend in his next class described how angry he was to put on the hoodie and have piles of embarrassing confetti fly all over the room.”

50. “She sent me a stock photo positive pregnancy test. I made her come over and retake the test. It was negative.”

If you want to laugh, even more, see our post on 50 Funny Bad Date Stories

Recent Posts