First Kiss: Get it Over With or Save it?


First Kiss: get it over with, or save it for someone special? This question has plagued VL’s since the dawn of time. As with any major life choice, you should do your research, and you’ve come to the right place.

There is no black-and-white answer here. Maybe your sister only ever kissed one guy in her life: her now-husband, and it worked out great for her. Or, your cousin kissed every girl in his fifth-grade class at recess and still brags about it. Maybe kissing is a big deal to you, or maybe it isn’t. There are two sides to any debate. Let’s take a look at the pros and cons of each option.

Get it Over With

Pros:

Experience:

The more you do anything that makes you nervous, the easier it gets. The same concept applies to kissing. If you take the opportunity to gain experience, when someone special comes along, you won’t be so scared to kiss them. And your skills will be honed, so the kiss itself will be more enjoyable.

Less Pressure

If you save your first kiss for when it counts, that’s a lot of pressure. If you get it out of the way, there’s no pressure to do it perfectly- which you probably won’t. Depending on how you get it out of the way, you may never even have to see that person again if you embarrass yourself.

If It Doesn’t Go Well…

If the kiss sucks, no worries! You can be proud of yourself for doing it without feeling overly down for not being a perfect kisser. Plus, it can only get better from here!

Cons:

Memories

Your first kiss is an experience you will remember for the rest of your life. It’s a story that you’ll have to share over and over again. If it’s with someone you never really cared about, you’ll miss out on a great memory. You might feel bad as others share their magical first kiss stories.

Possibly Unsafe

Depending on how you choose to get your first kiss over with, you may be putting yourself in an unsafe situation. Making out with strangers in a secluded area is not a great idea, especially as a teenager. You don’t know them, and you don’t know their intentions. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you could get hurt.

Feelings

They better know if you’re trying to kiss someone for fun. It is not a good move to take advantage of someone who has a fat crush on you. Don’t be reckless with other people’s feelings.

Save it

Pros:

Memories:

As stated before, your first kiss is something you will relive and tell other people for the rest of your life. Experiencing it with someone you care about will make the memory special, even if the kiss itself isn’t that great.

Deeper Meaning:

Depending on who you are, kisses may carry a deeper meaning. Maybe kissing is a huge deal to you and signifies a strong emotional connection with someone. If this is you, you should wait for someone you care about. If you get it over with, you will regret it.

Better Overall Experience:

Nothing particularly special or magical about kissing someone you don’t care about. But kissing someone special is special. Even if the kiss itself isn’t fantastic, doing it with them will give you that extraordinary butterfly feeling that you’ll never forget.

Cons:

The Kiss Will Probably Suck

That’s just an unfortunate fact of life. Everyone’s first kiss sucks. But, if you’re lucky, you might not know that it sucks. Ignorance is bliss, my friend.

Could Ruin Relationship

If it’s that bad, for whatever reason, it could make things so awkward between the two of you that it destroys the relationship. It won’t feel so magical if you accidentally bump your teeth. Or foreheads. Or their parents pop in. If the relationship is lost and your memory of them tarnished, there was never really a point in waiting.

Disappointment

If you wait so long and build it up so much, you’ll probably be disappointed when your first kiss finally happens, and fireworks don’t magically explode around you. By waiting, you may raise your expectations too high.

My First Kiss Story

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…

I had my first kiss when I was eleven years old. When you have your first kiss that young, some people say it doesn’t count. So I have a first kiss story and a second first kiss story.

My first kiss was with my sixth-grade boyfriend, Alex. We had been “dating” for two weeks, longer than any of my previous middle school boyfriends had lasted. At the end of school every day, we walked to the bus together. On this particular day, I hugged him as per usual and turned to leave. He held onto my arm, said, “Wait, don’t leave yet”, and glanced around nervously. I said, “What? I have to go, or I’ll miss my bus.” With that, he leaned in and gave me a kiss that lasted about .3 seconds. That didn’t stop me from being crazy excited, though.

My second first kiss happened when I was fifteen. In ninth grade, I had a crush on a boy in my class named Austin. At the end of the year, we were assigned partners for a Biology project. It was long, challenging work, so we had to spend much time together outside of class, where we became close friends. I discovered I would be moving across the country a few weeks into summer. When I told Austin the news, he started planning. One afternoon, we met at a park near my house, where he had a handwritten note and a speaker. He played “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri while we danced. At the end of the song, he kissed me- and yes, it was magical.

My Advice

Now that you know the pros, the cons, and a few stories, here is my advice: do something in between. Don’t build your first kiss up so much in your head, and save it for someone so special, that it keeps you from having great experiences in between- life is too short. On the other hand, don’t go up to your school’s signature make-out spot and put your lips on a random person, either. The only thing that matters is that, at the moment, it feels right.

Finding someone very NOT kiss-worthy? We have the solution for you! Look at How To Turn a Horrible Date Around.

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