How to Tell if She Wants to Kiss You

Yes, you’re right; women are complicated. But don’t lose hope; there are ways to figure them out.

Maybe your attractive coworker has been giving you more attention recently. Perhaps one of your cute female friends keeps sending you mixed signals. Maybe you’ve been seeing someone for a while, but you can’t determine her interest level. No matter why you’re here, you want to take that next step. Now let’s figure out if you should.

The easiest and most effective way to tell if she wants to kiss you is to hold eye contact. If this makes her uncomfortable and she decides to look at anything except you, there will be no kissing tonight. If she holds eye contact, you can probably feel confident leaning in.

The eye contact trick may not always be a clear indicator of her willingness to kiss you. Some people are generally more comfortable with eye contact than others, and she may be one of those others. If she is shy or nervous, it might be hard for her to hold eye contact. “One person’s friendly eye contact is another person’s excruciating moment”(1). Luckily, there are more ways to tell if she wants to kiss you.

Break the Touch Barrier

If you haven’t touched her tonight, planting a kiss on her is probably not a good idea. You need to break the touch barrier to assess whether or not she is okay with your physical contact. Allow her to warm up to you. A great place to start is by casually touching her elbow as you speak. If she pulls away, she does not want to kiss you, and you should stop the advances there. If she lets your hand linger, you may initiate step two.

More Casual Contact

It would be best if you didn’t insist on keeping your hands on her at all times for the whole evening like a creep. But don’t stop with the elbow. The best move now is a light touch on the back – not too low. If you’re walking somewhere, you can point something out to her – pointing with one hand and touching her back with the other. Or, you can lightly touch her back as you reach around her to grab something. Don’t let your hand linger here for too long, and make sure it comes off as very relaxed. Any casual touch at this point is a step in the right direction. You could brush her arm as you lean down to tie your shoes. Pretend you see something in her hand and grab it for a moment to “check.” If it feels right, put your arm around her shoulders or waist. Pay attention to how she responds to these touches.

In this circumstance, less is more. She should wish you would touch her longer than to feel overwhelmed by your advances. At the same time, be intentional and at ease. Don’t dart around robotically, counting the seconds you allow your hand to rest on her knee. You want her to feel both safe and excited at the same time.

Find Your Moment

If the touch barrier is sufficiently broken and she is still reacting positively, your final task is to find the right moment to lean in. Make sure that you are alone and that the atmosphere feels right. You should still be aware of her body language, even more so now. If she is staring firmly at the ground or to the side, that means no. You can go for it if she is looking at you and hesitating to move or leave. Don’t rush it, but don’t give yourself enough time to chicken out. You should be a picture of confidence and calm as you look into her eyes and make your move.

Some Green Light Signs

In this circumstance, a green light indicates that she is definitely reciprocating your advances. If she playfully punches you at any point, green. But don’t kiss her right then and there; you need to respond appropriately. If the night is going well and you feel confident that she likes you, you can respond to a playful punch by picking her up over your shoulder. Granted that she likes you, she will love this and laugh. In case she doesn’t like you, you will find out quickly. Another green light is if she is not in any rush to leave at the end of the night. If she doesn’t like you, she will bolt inside her door. If she hesitates, she is waiting for you to kiss her.

Some Yellow Light Signs

A yellow light means that she most likely reciprocates, but it should be paired with some green lights before you go for the kiss. This is because she could have other motivations for doing these things. Genuine smiling and laughter are a yellow light because it shows that she likes you but doesn’t indicate how she likes you. There is a possibility that she is just being friendly in a non-romantic way. Another yellow light is when she moves her hair out of her face. She could be doing this subconsciously because she likes you, or maybe her hair is bothering her. At the end of the night, if you tell her that you will walk her inside, and she waits for you to come around and open the car door for her, this is considered a yellow light. She might be taking a minute to gather her things. She could appreciate the gesture. Or, she wants to ensure that you are walking together and give you plenty of time to make a move.

Some Red Light Signs

Red lights mean she is uninterested, and you shouldn’t try anything. As mentioned earlier, don’t kiss her if she rushes inside or avoids eye contact at the end of the night. If she pulls away from touches, don’t kiss her. Don’t kiss her if she is making no effort in the conversation and gives short, abrupt answers. Red lights aren’t hard to discern, so they don’t require much explanation.

Don’t Lose Hope

If she doesn’t want to kiss you, don’t push it. She might change her mind later if you play your cards right. If she never comes around, that’s okay; it’s time to move on. Some day you will kiss someone special, and it will all be worth it. “The sound of a kiss is not as loud as that of a canon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer”(2).

Nailed the kiss? Congrats! Check out our romantic gift idea open when letters



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